I’ve kept thinking it’s time to do an update blog, but the longer I leave it the harder it feels. I do know that at the end of 2025, I felt relieved – a difficult year. Surely 2026 will be better. But not so far, other than one or two bright moments.

One of those bright moments was a story of mine being awarded second place in Redbud Writing Project’s Coppice Prize. It’s an old story, re-reading it felt a little strange, but I was very pleased to have won of course. It will be published in an anthology later this year. Another nice piece of news is that another old story that was published in 2012 is going to be republished in Raven Chronicles Press anthology “How the Light Gets In”.

And the rest? Well, the co-housing project David and I have been involved in since 2018 has proved unworkable for us, for various reasons. I did an enormous amount of work for it, mostly admin and research, but there were almost weekly zoom meets, in person meets and a property was finally bought after an incredibly stressful buying process. But in the end we realised it was not for us. I have spent most of the year in a process of grief about this, our dream of living in community, with lots of trees and land… not to be. And there is the issue of our financial investment being returned, which will happen, but we don’t know when. Our plan ‘B’ – to buy something ourselves, relies on getting this investment back.

And then there is my health. Needless to say the stress of the above hasn’t helped. But two things happened: a serious flare up of my sciatica (I have a prolapsed disc in my spine, pinching a nerve down my left leg). It had been managed really well with medication and strengthening exercises, but I then hurt the other side of my back and when that cleared up, the sciatica became intolerable. We doubled the medication, but that had the effect of almost destroying my short term memory and impairing my cognitive function, so I am trying to reduce, but it’s hard. I am seeing a physiotherapist, and being diligent with the exercises, but there are days where I am in almost intolerable pain. I’m waiting for another MRI, but that could take many, many months.

As if that wasn’t enough, I had a period. I’m 64 and haven’t had one for over 15 years. I was fast tracked for a pelvic ultrasound, which showed thickening of the lining of the womb, by almost double. I’m now fast tracked for a hysteroscopy under full anaesthetic to have a closer look at what is happening and to take a biopsy, as there is some chance that there is cancer. I don’t really go to worst case scenarios, but to once again have to have unpleasant things done to my body feels, well, not good to say the least. The procedure is happening on the 23rd of August, a week before my birthday.

What else? Ronan. Of course this is a greater worry for me than my own health, as always. He’s still quite wobbly after his adverse reaction to Solensia (two shots, last one last October), but the blood tests done early this year now show hyperthyroidism. He is also early stage CKD (chronic kidney disease) but I’ve known about this for a couple of years. However lately he’s been drinking too much, and this could mean worsening of CKD or hyperthyroidism … or? Well he’s getting blood tests done this week, so I should know soon. Please send good vibes his way!

He hates the many heat waves that have occurred and are still occurring, and spends most of his time under ‘his’ chair in the bedroom. I am trying to take him out three times a day as it seems to be the one thing that helps his ataxia (lack of coordination in the hindquarters) which is what the Solensia caused. Please, please, do not give your cat this drug, nor your dog Librela, which is the equivalent. It was supposed to help with arthritis pain but instead made him more or less disabled. I will never forgive myself for not researching the drug more carefully: It stops Nerve Growth Factor in the brain, which does stop pain signals, but of course NGF is needed for multiple functions in the body. Having joined the various Facebook groups I now know horrifyingly more than I ever wanted about this drug. Ronan possibly got off lightly (did it cause his hyperthyroidism?), as there are many animals who died or suffered truly awful side-effects. A very similar drug, tanezumab, was created for humans, but was pulled due to the side-effects in the trials. These drugs actually cause joint damage. There are a number of vets and neurological vets campaigning against use of Librela and Solensia and doing studies to show the damage they do. It is truly awful to see Ronan struggle to do things he could do last year.

To keep myself sane I’m trying to get back to another edit of my comic novel, Seagull Pie – set in Donegal and based on my own experience as a young teenager there. I have two fantastic friends helping me on this, who are insistent it should, will, be published. I do hope so.

Previous blogs of mine on my physical situation:
Stopping the Fight
The Untellable Tale
My Late-Stage Lyme Treatment
My Late-Stage Lyme Diagnosis
The Art of Illness: Part Two
The Art of Illness
Finding Home
Doctor, Doctor
44 Weeks
Still Suffering
ROCKS AND FLOWERS
Feeling Normal
The Real Story
The Unendurable, Part Two
The Unendurable
IT’S NOT COVID
More Things I Don’t Want To Talk About
On Being Invisible